I wrote the following over at the MtGSalvation forum in response to a relative new-comer who suggested that the problems in the server archecture should have been fixed months ago, not realizing that it has been problem for over five years now.
Months? Let's review the history, shall we:
Once upon a time, in the far off land of Renton, Wizards and Lizards mated and gave birth to the evil spawn which was Modo 0.0. And the select few tested Alpha and saw that it was evil, but it kind of worked and was better than Apprentice and the Encyclopedia in the sense that it governed the rules mostly correctly most of the time.
And the less select few tested Beta and saw that it was evil, but it showed promise and clearly Wizards and Lizards would continue to make sweet love and produce successive spawn which were less evil, and so no one was worried, though everyone wondered how large the monthly fee would be to play this MMORPG.
Then came the Great Pricing Announcement of January, 2002. Oh, woe! The masses cried out and gnashed their teeth! Virtual cards would cost money. And not just the same as paper cards: retail. No card shops. No box prices! Instead, the twisted minds at Wizards offered redemption. Not of geek souls, but of virtual cards for paper! A feature that only a relative handful of collectors would ever want or use, but would, nevertheless, fetter the pricing of virtual cards to paper forevermore, amen.
At last the unwashed masses were allowed to test the Beta. And there was crashing. And crashing. And crashing. And each time the mighty Load exceed 10,000 unredeemed geek souls Modo 0.0, the infernal spawn of Wizards and Lizards, crashed. And the masses cried out and gnashed their teeth. But Modo 0.0, the infernal spawn of Wizards and Lizards, showed promise and clearly Wizards and Lizards would continue to make sweet love and produce successive spawn which were less evil, and so no one was worried.
And, Lo, Modo 0.0 became Modo 1.0. And there was much rejoicing! Though, strangely, little hype. Indeed, Wizards did decide that instead of working to fix or revamp the architecture that caused Modo 1.0, the infernal spawn of Wizards and Lizards, to crash, they would instead work to keep the mighty Load below the amount which would cause the inevitable crash. But Modo 1.0, the infernal spawn of Wizards and Lizards, showed promise, and, clearly, Wizards and Lizards would continue to make sweet love and produce successive spawn which were less evil, and so no one was worried.
And, Lo, Wizards called up Lizards, and said, “Hey, Babe, it’s been great. I hope that we can still be friends.” And Wizards offered the promise of future spawn. 2.0! Through self insemination and the metaphorical turkey-baster of internal development Wizards would give birth to Modo 2.0! And all would be Skittles! And all would be Beer! And Modo 1.0 showed promise, and, clearly, Wizards would continue in its self-love and produce successive spawn which would be less evil, and so no one was worried.
And, Lo, Wizards gave birth to Modo 2.d’oh. And there was crashing! Yea, even more frequent crashing than ever before. And the masses cried out and gnashed their teeth. And Wizards heard the crying, and pled, “Give us a year. We’ll rewrite the Server Architecture, and there will be no more crashing forever. We will bring forth 3.0. And all will be Skittles. And all will be Beer!” But, eventually, Modo 2.d’oh showed promise, and, clearly, Wizards would continue in its self-love and produce successive spawn which would be less evil, and so no one was worried.
And Wizards worked itself fitfully with the turkey-baster of internal development, but lay fallow for years, ever extending the release date for 3.0. And the masses cried out and gnashed their teeth.
And, Lo, the select few tested Beta 3.0 and saw that it was evil, but it kind of worked, and was better than 2.d’oh in the sense that the Server Architecture was stable, and so, probably, there would be no more crashing forever. And so Modo 3.0 showed promise, and, clearly, Wizards would continue in its self-love and produce successive spawn which would be less evil, and so no one was worried.
