At last we reach a poem that is a bit more like a love sonnet in that it's a tiny step in the right direction towards being more direct. It's still a failure in many ways, though.
Yes, let's focus more of my unwanted attention "on you". I'm sure that will help.
I want to say how beautiful you are.
I want to say how beautiful you are, but, instead, I will only speak of it indirectly.
There are two pertinent facts here. Jane is gorgeous, but back then she had all the normal insecurities of any other college freshman. Since men are behind the curve in our social, emotional and sexual development, most guys can not address that tangle at that age. I certainly did not have the tools. Most guys learn not to go there until we're well within in the safety of the make-out zone.
I could write in some really schmaltzy style
About your soft raven hair or the star
That flashes in your eyes when you smile.
My particular issue for a long, long time was a lack of immediacy of my feelings and their expression. I'd only figure out I liked this girl when the date was over, and I had a chance to process it. And then all the emotions would pour out upon the page, by which point the girl assumed that nothing was there and had already moved on.
I would have been better off had I written directly about how hott she was. She would, almost certainly, have been incapable of hearing it amidst her anxiety about her freshman two, but, at least, doing so would have been more honest.
But the beauty that overwhelms me so
Is, instead, an inner glow of caring.
No, Little Mertseger, Jane sympathized with you once in a friendly way. She was no saint: just a nice, normal young woman. That glow you're seeing? It's a healthy and wonderful part of your self that your overlaying on your image of her.
You’ve much inside of you to give, and, though
I may never be a part of that sharing,
I hope that you will open up to someone
Oh, oh, oh! Little Mertseger, be careful of what you wish for! If you think it's bad now, wait until she starts seeing Tim two doors down that hall.
So that you may know the same joy I felt
Once the vibrations of love had begun
To warm me and make my icy core melt.
As Maude says, "Oh, Harold... That's *wonderful*. Go and love some more. "
Your beauty lays in what you have to share,
As well as in your eyes and body fair.
No, not really. I mean, Jane, was nice enough. She was a little depressive for perfectly reasonable reasons that it is not my place to share. No, her beauty, as I knew it, was all from wonderful, healthy, superficial reasons. Fantastic cheekbones, large captivating eyes, a tall, mesomorphic frame, great legs, and full lips that were quick to smile. Sigh...Jane.